I have a lot on my mind right now...a lot. My sister is 9 months pregnant, and I am waiting any day to get the call that she has gone into labor. I will drop whatever is going on to drive home to be there. My other sister is in Korea, so its all the more important that I am there. A girl needs her sisters around when she is becoming a mother. The hard part is that I do SOOO much in my life, I am going to have to neglect something when that time comes. Be it class, SAI, Northgate, Berry Indep., or any other of the thousands of commitments I have made. And I know family is most important in life. It truly is. But I hate letting people down. When I make commitments I stick to them. It's something I pride myself in, that I am reliable and a woman of my word. But, ya know, sometimes life happens. Sometimes your sister has a BABY and you HAVE to be there. Sometimes your other sister comes home from Korea for a week after she has been gone for 8 months, and you have to skip some things so you can see her. Sometimes things come up and you have to be flexible. I understand that. I hate not being able to do everything I said I could, but I am only human. I cant constantly neglect my family. I love them...so much more than I love any of the things I do in my life. So I am gonna take the hit if I have to and be there when they need me. Its been on my mind a lot lately...Its been plaguing me actually...the decisions I have to make.
God, give me your wisdom, insight and peace. Why am I trying to do it all alone? You said you would carry my burdens, so why am I trying to be a hero and do it myself? You are enough for me. You are.