Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Life in the here and now

Its been two years and my, my how things have changed. I read a post I made in 2009 about my wanting to find a husband, but knowing the command was to rely on the Lord. I knew that the Lord was trying to teach me about dependence on Him and how not to be a planner of everything. How funny that is looking back now.

I found my husband! Hooray! But the lessons on dependence did not end. Neither did the patience that was being required of me. I am married to the love of my life. A man I knew I loved when I was 15 years old. A man I never thought the Lord would give me as a husband. I am so grateful, and overjoyed that the Lord saw fit to have me marry Nathaniel. But its like he gave me part of my reward before the work was done. Because, yes, I have a husband, a wonderful one at that, but in the time we have been married, 8 1/2 months, I have seen him for a cumulative 29 days. Not only that, but I wont see him again for another 4 months! So I now see the lessons God was teaching me years ago about trusting Him, and leaning on Him to sustain me, and having faith in Him to give me patience, were very worthwhile lessons. Not only is He still working on instilling them in me, but they are what keeps me going now.

Being an Army wife is something I never thought would happen to me. I say "happen" because I have never been able to fathom why a woman would choose this life. I always looked at those wives whose husbands would leave for a year at a time and think, "Awww, poor thing...why would she EVER marry a man in the military!?" I am admittedly too selfish for that. I want my husband home! I didn't marry a guy for him to leave me all the time. HA! Look at me now. But what I have come to realize is that not only am I stronger than I thought...but the Lord is so much wiser than I thought! Talk about the ultimate planner! He knew what life would bring me...thats why he made me exercise patience for all of those years. He knew there would be times when Nathaniel would have to leave, and so he was preparing me by teaching me reliance on Him. I look back on those ranting posts about being frustrated with the lessons I was being taught and not understanding why I needed to be taught them. I like to think God was cracking a little smile at me, knowing full well what he had prepared.

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what
God has prepared for those who love him" - I Corinthians 2:9
I highlighted this verse and wrote this
note inmy bible no less than 4 years ago.
God always has a plan!

No comments:

Post a Comment