I have a lot on my mind right now...a lot. My sister is 9 months pregnant, and I am waiting any day to get the call that she has gone into labor. I will drop whatever is going on to drive home to be there. My other sister is in Korea, so its all the more important that I am there. A girl needs her sisters around when she is becoming a mother. The hard part is that I do SOOO much in my life, I am going to have to neglect something when that time comes. Be it class, SAI, Northgate, Berry Indep., or any other of the thousands of commitments I have made. And I know family is most important in life. It truly is. But I hate letting people down. When I make commitments I stick to them. It's something I pride myself in, that I am reliable and a woman of my word. But, ya know, sometimes life happens. Sometimes your sister has a BABY and you HAVE to be there. Sometimes your other sister comes home from Korea for a week after she has been gone for 8 months, and you have to skip some things so you can see her. Sometimes things come up and you have to be flexible. I understand that. I hate not being able to do everything I said I could, but I am only human. I cant constantly neglect my family. I love them...so much more than I love any of the things I do in my life. So I am gonna take the hit if I have to and be there when they need me. Its been on my mind a lot lately...Its been plaguing me actually...the decisions I have to make.
God, give me your wisdom, insight and peace. Why am I trying to do it all alone? You said you would carry my burdens, so why am I trying to be a hero and do it myself? You are enough for me. You are.
You are pretty busy, and sound crazy for doing it all!! But you're having fun, right? And that's what life's all about. Most people understand that you're so busy, at least I'd hope so, and that you need to miss something so that you can be with people you love. Don't be anxious about something so exciting and life changing! Instead, be grateful that it is happening. Be happy and joyous, but don't let it plague you, as you say. Don't allow the choices you have to make be a problem in trying to enjoy what you love to do. If others won't let you do something you need to do, then they aren't being very fair. I hope it turns out alright. Let God worry about those things, not you, and it will all be ok! :D see ya later!
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